Pissed off

Okay, so maybe I'm in a bad mood from drug and sex withdrawal, but right now I'm rather pissed off with the bullshit that is the SDI course.
The point is, that since the start of the year, I've written roughly 10,000 words, gathered quotes for printing costs, begun the consideration of a business plan and blogged every few days. (Although that may not have much to do with SDI all the time.)
So here's what I'm annoyed with:
Twitter; I hate it. It is pointless to make small statements when i can just do a blog post on what's been happening.
The Moodle; it has the worst interface in history, but more importantly, I just don't have time to sit and look at all of the crap on there, especially because it takes me 20 minutes to log on as I need to change the randomly assigned password. I could sort that out, but frankly this subject is meant to be CONVENIENT for me. So far, all the of the tasks set have been pointless and a waste of time.
Research; it is CONSTANT. I'm a writer. LIFE IN IT'S ENTIRITY IS RESEARCH. I cannot keep track of every article, video and other forms of media that I use on a daily basis. Per week, I watch several online shows, listen to several podcasts, read hundreds of online articles and countless blogposts. It is impracticle to keep track of all this crap, mostly because I don't know what I'm going to be drawing from for my work.
The Proposal; I haven't done it. Well, not true. I did do it, but the upload didn't work, and I lost the file. I DON'T WANT TO DO ALL THAT CRAP AGAIN! I can do a proposal from home, and post it on my Madman blog.
It's a better idea, because I can keep track of the changes, which will better suit the criteria. I'm also sure there is a part of the criteria that says something about creative thought.

My main problem here is that I've got an absolute mountain of work which I have to sift through to write maybe a line in a blogpost or a tweet. I chose this subject because I need help getting Madman to a publishable standard, but I'm feeling a bit bogged down by frivilous things.

Anyway, this was rushed because I'm hungry, hopefully I've not over reacted.

Ad Hom

John Maynard Keynes, was everything I despise manifest in a single human being. He was brazen, arrogant and deceitful. In all of his endeavors, especially sexual, he sought power and dominance over others by sometimes cruel and coercive means. His academic works deliberately misquote and misrepresent his colleagues and forebears. He used his charisma to incite his pupils to psychologically destroy a rival economics professor. He achieved his station through nepotism and trickery. He was a liar, a fraud, a racist, a fascist, a totalitarian sympathizer and a poly-sexual psychopath. Everything he ever did was to further his own desires for power and praise. He believed he was born to the superior class of patriarchs, with superior intellect and judgment. He would neutralize any perceived threat without remorse and with pleasure.

Truly this is all an ad hominem assault on the man's character and does not attack his theories, as any decent academic would do. But, as Rothbard asserted in his analysis of the man, an understanding of Keynes the person, does help understanding where his doctrine came from.

I have no real intention of discussing Keynesian theory in this post, but I did want to discuss where ideologies, and as Roger calls them "world views" might come from.

The basis of Keynesian dogma is that there are three classes of human beings; Consumers, Investors and the Elites. The Consumer's sole purpose is to consume, they are dull and cannot think for themselves. Investors can think, and their thoughts provide the capital for the Consumers to devour. This is where wealth comes from. But Investors, for all their intelligence, are paranoid and irrational, they run from industry if they fear they'll lose money. This is where the government comes in. The Elites, with their benign wisdom, can compensate by investing public funds in crucial industries. Only the government and their employed academics can keep the wheels of economy turning indefinitely. Keynes firmly believed that it was not the size and scope of government that effected the economy, but the competence of the government experts. Here is a good point to remind that Keynes believed himself the perfect expert. Conveniently, if his ideas were adopted, he would have supreme power over the governance of the economy, as he believed himself the supreme economist and being. He often asserted that immediate ends were all that mattered to him, and the future was a problem he could solve later.
I would say that this is something he applied to every part of his life. His early days at Cambridge were spent deconstructing and destroying, in his own mind, the ideas of morality and principle. He considered right and wrong to be abstract that he could ignore if he so pleased. He was a self confessed "immoralist" and instant gratification was his in effect his ideology.

This is the "world view" of a psychopath. Nothing more or less. It is obvious that other people appeared as merely ghostly images, not at all connected to him by empathy. Human Action appeared to be nothing but an illogical abstract to him. All a psychopath can relate to is himself, he has no understanding of motive or means, beyond urge and fulfillment. This is where his ideas came from. His ideology came from his need to fulfill and justify his own urges and desires. The logical structure of his mind was no different to any other functioning human being, he merely did not develop beyond the childish stage of his personal evolution.

The thoughts and theories of John Maynard Keynes are currently the conventional wisdom in handling this economic crisis. In a time when the left is blaming the chaos on the greed and heartlessness of financial executives, they are pushing the dogma of a man purely motivated by personal gain. Not only is this ironic, it's going to lead to disaster and economic ruin. Keynes understanding of Human Nature and Action were crippled by his pathological disorder.

If there is anything I look forward to after this disaster, it is that the thoughts and theories of this despicable creature will be forever denounced by humanity as a whole... Hopefully.

Heroes

I used to want to be a hero. I sometimes thought I was one. Now I'm fucking over it.

This is a lot of what's behind Madman. A story of the darkness overcoming a young man and turning him into a force for madness and chaos. Their are a few paradoxes along the way, but I won't cause any spoilers.

Fuck someone over. Betray them. Hurt them. Ruin the person they are and want to be, and no matter how strong they are, they'll break eventually. The Madman breaks, but instead of becoming a weak sniveling creature, hiding in a corner. He gets stronger, and by a twist of fate, inadvertently does good.

That was the original idea behind the Madman novella. To create an anti-villain, in a style that is similar to a comic book, but without the pictures. Eventually it evolved to become the beginnings of a full book, blog and comic series.

Hopefully, it turns out to be pretty original.

Arrogant

I've been called arrogant, mostly by my mother, and occasionally by my friends, but frankly I couldn't care less.

Here's why:
In the '20's , Ludvig Von Mises predicted the Great Depression. In 2002, at age 12, I predicted this "Global Financial Crisis." I'm not lying. I knew it was coming and not because I'm especially clever. When I was 11, my dad told me that after we went off the gold standard, the only thing left to base our wealth off was our land, and that's why housing prices were skyrocketing.
I thought this was stupid. How could turning productive farmland into investment property be a good idea? How could we possible need or afford so many houses?
By the time the invasion of Afghanistan was turning ugly, I had figured it out. We can't.

My virgin mind saw what not one mainstream economist could. Not because it's big and bright, but because it was a simple problem and no one had come along and distracted me with the many fallacies that brought this situation about.

Now, because no one else bothered to see this until it was too late, I'm pretty pissed off. If a 12 year old, suffering with mental illness and crippling social anxiety can tell you that in the next few years the most powerful nation on earth will be bankrupted by war and bad monetary policy, surely SOMEONE in government could have done something. Surely someone else could see this.

But alas, the few voices in the wilderness were not heard and I truly believe it is too late and it's all YOUR fault. The worker, the boss, the banker and the debtor. You failed to hear the warnings. Failed to see what was coming. You marginalized us. You ignored us and now we all have to pay the price. The only reason I'm willing to help, to keep shouting into the abyss is because you're taking me and the people I care about with you.

So understand, I'm not being arrogant when I say; I was right. I'm still right. Grow up and deal with it.

An Ode to a Moron

Morons; without you my life is meaningless. Without your blatant disregard for principled logic, and your total lack of objective thought, I would find little to distract me from the tedium and monotony of my life. I would have nothing left but to enjoy myself, and frankly, who wants to do that? Who wants to devote their hours to those that make them happy? Who wants to spend his life in the pursuit of happiness? Apparently, not me.
Without you, those whose thoughts are unclear and misguided, I would be left to waste away in the pleasures that freedom has brought me. Without you, I would have more time to devote to myself an my loved ones. More time to play, and kiss, and laugh. More energy to move, and learn, and make love.
I shudder at the thought of a life so devoid of anger and disdain; so emptied of the all consuming rage, that I have nothing left but bliss. How sickening, that without you, I would not feel the need to spew my distaste for your ill-considered theorems and your quackery. Without you, the only place I could seek meaning, would be in my own heart and mind. Without you, I am merely a man, so content he could burst with the joys of life.
Without you, who would I be?
Without liars, preachers and snake oil-peddling Cretans. Without the Fascists and Marxists, The Keynesians and Friedmanites. Without all the Collectivists and Positivists. Without the sick and ill conceived ideologies of intervention, control and coercion, I would be someone else. I would not be.
So I bow to you, morons, fools and imbeciles. I bend my knee in respect, for you have been my guardian and my creator. My Smith and my maker. My molder and shaper.
I am your clay monster, oh Rabaais of ignorance.
The Golem you have unleshed.

Rorschach

"Why would you ask me to save a world, I no longer have any stake in?"
Dr Manhattan.
Watchmen, By Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons.


I kind of feel like that right now. No stake in the world. But then again, I never really identified with that giant smurf. It was the twisted psychotic, Rorschach, that I understood. He hated the world. Hated humanity and everyone hated him. Now I'm not saying I'm universally hated, I'm just saying I understood. Rorschach had even less of a stake in the world than anyone I can think of. But he carried on, in his pained existence, doing everything he thought was right, but hoping it would kill him and end his pain.

"Never compromise, even in the face of Armageddon."

I understand that. I'm touched by it. Moved and hopeful. If I ever fall into a twisted psychosis, I'll go out just like he does. But for now, I'm just angry, and lonely. I've got some right to do. And no one can stop me. Not even a god.

A Review

I sat and watched Alex Jones' "The Obama Deception", last night out of boredom and mild curiosity and to put it quite simply, I thought it was a shitty waste of time.
Basically, it's a conspiracy documentary about how Barack Obama is controlled by the "Global Elite", who want to "Repo" the world by destroying the Western Economy. Now, these sorts of things are always amusing to me. I like watching the bizare conclusions form from reasonably innocuous evidence. I love seeing the film makers run from "the opressors." But in this case, a bad taste was left in my mouth.
Why?
Well, because Alex Jones took facts; REAL evidence, evidence that could have been used to demonstrate the logical fallacies that form the Keyensian and Interventionist philosophies, and he turned it into a B-grade conspiracy movie. Rather than simply exposing Obama's rethoric prior to his election as simply empty word play, and posturing, he turned it into a carefully orchestrated illusion, designed by the puppet masters.
With reality on his side, Jones could have created a more damning enditement of the US Federal Government, but he chose to act the fool. Yes, there are very powerful people pulling Obama's strings, all with their own aggenda. Yes, there is a great deal of corruption surrounding the existence of the Federal Reserve bank. Yes, ALL members of the Administration are, in essence, commiting treason against the constitution that they swore on. But with a little understanding of human nature, what is more reasonable? That Obama and his administration are all agents of a small group of bankers, who seek to rule the world? Or, that there is a small group of bankers, who may or may not be coluding, who have over the decades figured out a way to get really rich by lobbying various unwitting and idealogically misguided members of government? Is it not more plausable that a young pragmatic president, can be easily swayed from "compromise" to "compromise" along an ever more slippery slope? Or is it easier to believe, that with their all seeing serveilence capabilities, the Illuminati found a talented young comunity organiser and trained him to be the puppet that will lead the US into oblivion.

I will admit, that what Jones thinks is happening is not impossible, it's just a hard conclusion to draw from the evidence we are presented with in the film. All I see, is that those in power, got drunk on an imagined responsibility, and when the hangover came, they took heroine (inflating the money supply, and increasing their assumed responsibility) to dull the pain. I doubt, to the deepest of my core, that there is anyone smart enough to pull off global domination.
What I think, is that there are some people, who believe that the world would be better off if it could be united, and the population were galvinised behind the global leadership. It's not evil, but conceit and poor logic that drives Jones' "forces of darkness," and it is that, that we in the rEVOLution need to demonstrate.

Our logic, and most importantly our sanity, are our greatest weapons. Looking crazy, will weaken the validity of our claims, that individual liberty and economic freedom are the best way to achieve peace and prosperity.

[sorry for any errors. I typed this quickly and the spellchecker isn't working.]

Time.

It's time. Time to start acting. Time to start working. Time.
I am no longer content to write about what angers me. I am no longer prepared to sit and wait for a fellow traveler to join me on the road to freedom. I'm going it alone if I have to. Things have to change, or we're all doomed.

"Hush"

Fuck you. You niggers, faggots, coons, queers, retards, dykes and A-rabs, commies and Jesus Freaks. I can rant all day about how much I fucking hate your guts, but fuck it, that would be lying.

See, I can say whatever the fuck I want. No word on the goddamn planet is barred from my vocabulary. No context can be denied me, and no PC-bullshitter can stop me, or anyone else from fucking saying ANYTHING. Lock me up. Feed the key to some fat-ass yank. I will scream all the fucking racial slurs, homophobic slogans and hushed up truths as you hurl me into the gas-chamber, whether I mean it or not. Fuck you. I am a human fucking being, and I WILL exercise my FREE SPEECH whether or not it's appropriate or legal. Be offended. I don't care. The right to not be offended, is not right at all. But FREEDOM is RIGHT. Not a right. JUST FUCKING RIGHT.
So while you sit, wishing you could end my mad tirades, consider this. "Is he going to stop ME arguing against him?"

So no, I'm not a racist homophobic Zealot; its just that, "I can say what I want to, even if I'm not serious..."
"Go fuck yourself."

I am Alistair

A strange poem I wrote. It probably sucks, but oh what the fuck, enjoy.

I am the hero

With no sword in my hand

I am the one

Alone, here I stand.

I am the master

Not Mr nor man

I am the hero

alone I will stand.

To be me is to die

Alone, I can't stand it.


But,

To be me is to soldier

on as I planned,

Persistence does guide me,

and right here I'll stand,

Then march my own pace,

to the end of every land.


Now walk the hills

and spread the word.

Her hero is coming,

from the absurd.


I am the Hero

My word is a sword,

I am Alistair.

Stiff

So, I pretty much just got told that my book sucks. I need a stiff drink, and possibly some sort of biological outlet, then I'm back to writing what I sincerely believe to be a good story. I'm thinking; fuck the mainstream publishing road, George Lucas didn't need Fox to make Star Wars the most awesome story ever told.

So here's my plan:
1) Get Drunk.
2) Wake up.
3) Sit in front of the computer.
4) Write.
5) Write.
.
.
.
9.9x10^99) Finish.

In related news: I hate the elderly.

Pain

Pain changes everything. The most loyal of dogs will bite its master. The reserved woman will scream in labour. The strongest man will weep and moan in agony. With enough pain everyone will change. No exceptions.

Torture a man for a week, and what may once have been a bright eyed, bushy tailed, young, go-getter, will come out ashen and hollow. Give a young girl cancer and watch her age decades in the months she has to live. Look for the haunted fear in his eyes, and the unwanted wisdom in hers. Pain can break something inside you, make something grow within you, or become a part of you.
You can study it, surround it, understand it, and with drugs control it. After hours, days, months or years, eventuallly all you can do is accept it, let it pass, and pass it by. And if it stays forever, as it just might, I hope you change for the better. I think I might.

Subconscious

Anger is usually an obvious emotion. Usually you know when you're angry, and you know who or what is pissing you off. But sometimes you start doing things that only angry people would do and you have no idea why you're doing them. You may snap and snarl, kick the cat or if you're me day-dream of repeatadly stabbing some stupid mother fucker in the face as you grin manically into your sandwhich.
Eventually you'll wake up one morning realise that all the cat really didn't deserve to be kicked, and that poor waiter didn't deserve to be called a retarded waste of oxygen. But being the exception to the rule, I wake to discover this morning, that stupid mother fucker does deserve to be repeatedly stabbed in the face, so I don't feel remotely embarrased about grinning at my sandwhich.

Irritation

*I'm still working on getting my new years stories all sorted in my brain and on the computer... too much beer*

I'm suffering from severe irritation at the moment. Everything is very annoying and this is probably because it's about 100% humidity at the moment. (its 9 pm, 30 degrees, and there's a bloody cloud of mist enveloping the entire area.) I'm so irritable I'm not even able to rant about something. I just get irritated with myself.

So, I'm stuck in a horrid circle of annoyance and can't focus. All I want to do right now is hack some sorry fucker to death for no reason at all. But because I'm supposed to be part of the last bastion of civility in Southern Africa, I need to maintain my cool so I'm allowed to bugger off back to kangarooland after my 6 weeks of living dangerously here in the Rambo-Nation.

Anyway, I think I need to cool off by reading some Dexter and listening to Tool.

Gah...

Okay, my mom's digital camera broke on NY while I was at Burn, (no idea how) but luckily I got pics and video onto the SD card, and now I'm just waiting for everyone else to give me their cammeras so I can make a propper post. This may take a while, so don't hold your breath.

For Nick: the super secret, made of pure awesome "project" is still in early draft, but I'm going to be here alone in the mornings for most of next weeks so I'll be working away at it, ready to send to you in parts.