If it takes two quarters of GDP shrinkage to indicate a recession,how will we know when the depression hits?
As a part of his plan to save the world, Australia's Prime Minister has given us a great knew way of knowing when the worst hits us, (because no one could have predicted this disaster before it happened, and certainly not me at the age of 11 along with everyone else I knew.)
So how this is going to work, is we're all going to fill out this form here, and if enough people in the electorate feel that the economy is depressed enough, big K R is going to commission an awareness campaign to make the economy feel better about itself.
The Depression Test
| Behaviours | |
| 1. | Stopped going out and spending lots of money |
| 2. | Not getting things done at work |
| 3. | Withdrawals from close family and friends accounts |
| 4. | Relying on alcohol and sedatives |
| 5. | Stopped doing things you enjoy because you can't afford it |
| 6. | Unable to concentrate capital |
| Thoughts | |
| 7. | "I’m a failure at business" |
| 8. | "It’s my fault" |
| 9. | "Nothing good ever happens to me since the bank collapsed" |
| 10. | "I’m worthless, bankrupt" |
| 11. | "Life is not worth living expenses" |
| Feelings | |
| 12. | Overwhelmed |
| 13. | Unhappy, depressed |
| 14. | Irritable |
| 15. | Frustrated with my situation |
| 16. | No confidence in the credit market/banks |
| 17. | Guilty for my families current lifestyle |
| 18. | Indecisive |
| 19. | Disappointed in the regulators |
| 20. | Miserably hungry |
| 21. | Sad... I couldn't afford to keep my mother alive |
| Physical | |
| 22. | Tired all the time from standing in the bread line |
| 23. | Sick and run down... disease is everywhere. |
| 24. | Headaches and muscle pains |
| 25. | Churning gut from fear |
| 26. | Can’t sleep on a flea ridden matress |
| 27. | weight loss |
Failing the awareness campaign KR has decided that it would be prudent to place the economy on a Standing Order, where it would be kept under martial... I mean hospital... I mean the IMF's supervision until it feels happy enough to go out and live a normal life.
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